Dress by Topshop
Today is a bittersweet day for me.  Today is my Mama’s birthday.  Today she celebrates a second birthday in heaven. Today is also my roommates birthday.  It’s a reminder that in the midst of sadness there’s also the celebration of life.  I often think of the irony of moving in with someone who shares the same birthdate as my mother just months after her passing.  God has jokes. Ha!

Today is bittersweet because its the one day i think i truly allow myself to think of her and to remember all the wonderful moments.  I still can’t allow myself to delete her number from my phone.  She still holds the number one spot.  My Mama was the rock of the family.  The glue that held us all together and most importantly the person i owe everything i am today.
I thought long and hard about sharing this on the blog.  In reality i don’t ever share these feelings with anyone. I am a pro at bottling up my feelings and building walls.  If you can only imagine how high up and impenetrable this particular wall is…but i think its good for me to let go.  And to mourn.  And to cry.  And to miss my Mom.
The photo above is of tattoos i got while caring for her as she was ill.  She hated them.  She hated tattoos as most mother’s i believe do, but it was a way for me to remember and honor her.  Thank you to my cousin Tania for coming with me to get All You Need Is Love and thank you to my friend Sasha for being with me when i got the heart beat.
Today is a celebration of life.  Today i honor my Mom’s memory and the fact that she is now truly living.
 
Happy Birthday Mom!
 
xo
Jah
 
PS. FUCK CANCER

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